We are living in unpredictable times. And lately, we have learned a harsh fact: life can change overnight.
While there’s no arguing that the COVID-19 pandemic has transformed our society into something we never imagined; stressful conditions are a great teacher. Humans are programmed in such a way that we continuously adapt to new circumstances. Merely look to evolution as evidence.
We live in a paradox, cursing this economic system as we chase after wealth and social status. We are so attached to the materialistic goals, and when they shatter, we feel defeated.
I have first-hand experience. I felt this struggle as my career plans went out the window.
Even though I was accepted to one of the best business schools, there was no certainty I would go this year. I examined all my savings and assets, and after much contemplation, I genuinely believed this was my only chance to make it big.
However, life has a way of taking its own direction, creating its own path. It said to me, “Plans should only serve as a guide, they should never become your backbone.”
When the lockdowns began, I felt devastated for a while. The anxiety grew every day, and things started getting worse.
I had no source of income and no concrete plans for the future. Whenever I checked in on social media, there was just more and more shocking news. Within a few months, I started disbelieving everything. It seemed like all my struggles went in vain, but as one of my favorite quotes says, “Even the darkest nights will end, and the sun will rise.”
Slowly, my feelings of resentment and agony evolved into those of gratitude and empathy. I realized that everyone around the world is going through an identical crisis.
I looked for what I did have: I am healthy, mentally stable, and have decent savings to last for a while. And, I’m sure that’s the case with many of us. But not all of us. What about daily wage earners, doctors, nurses, paramedics, millions of infected people, or the whole economy of struggling countries? For so many of us, only our career plans or life goals may be at stake, but for others, life is harsher than we can imagine. For millions, survival is at stake every moment.
In our society, everyone is striving to be a remarkable performer. The environment we personally experience isn’t the environment of all the world’s people. We only can understand our own limited consciousness, nothing beyond.
Prejudice and lack of understanding are not only making us hollow, but it erases many experiences. Maybe we could become great friends with our neighbor if we weren’t envious of his Ferrari. We could focus on spending time with our aging parents over Christmas if we let go of some of our consumerism.
By attending that top business school, I wanted to seek validation that I was better. By purchasing that latest iPhone, we attempt to validate our earnings. People focus on showing how extravagant their lives are by posting those pictures from their latest trips abroad. It’s a mere facade with no foundation.
Through introspection, we’ll understand the core of our suffering: anxiety. It is induced through these never-ending materialistic desires and need for validation. Life in the 21st century is based on giving and receiving validation because it is part of our economic foundation. We’re programmed to become money making-machines, to raise a family, and then die.
All this time, the truth was resting in front of me, but I didn’t recognize it. I never took a moment to really discover who I am. But, this period of quarantine allowed me the time I lacked to examine myself. It was a reality check: who am I? Where do I want to take my life?
Initially, we try to discard our own company. We are not used to being with ourselves. As lockdown continues, we begin to accommodate our own company and become more mindful of our thoughts, purposes, and desires. Sometimes there comes a point where we realize what we’re doing is not what we want. With this epiphany, remodeling can begin.
As my so-called dream of going to a business school was fading, I craved for my situation to improve. But, it wasn’t what was around me that needed improvement; it was me who had to change.
It won’t happen all at once; not tomorrow, not next year. But what I have realized is this: I don’t need to validate my existence.
Remove the idea of gains, possessions, and power from your head and see how stress caused by societal burden will dissipate. If the material world becomes our source of happiness, your happiness will remain short-lived. As soon as we lose something, we crave for something else. As soon as we gain something, we long for something more. It’s a never-ending loop and a desire that can never be fulfilled.
My intention in writing this is not to discourage you or to persuade you to give up your life and career goals. But I write this so you can be aware. Much of our undesired stress is self-induced. During this pandemic, we aren’t depressed because we are forced to stay indoors, but because we are forced to come to terms with who we really are. It is a struggle to digest our personal realities.
Those who are feeling hopeless, I send a warm virtual hug to you. I know things have been brutal. Hang in there.
If you’ve lost your job, don’t overburden yourself with debts and stress — both are potentially more deadly than COVID-19. A lot of opportunities are there to help you get by: freelancing or work from home. I was making nothing a few months back, and with freelancing, my income has become consistent and high. Even if you’ve no idea how it works, go and explore, find resources. That’s how I started.
Most importantly, you have to take a leap of faith. Give yourself permission to fall and stumble; that’s how you will discover your way.
