You’ve seen the news reports, read the research, and listened to the experts. You know that wearing a face mask in public is important to help stop the spread of COVID-19. But someone else in your household has come to the opposite conclusion and doesn’t want to wear a mask. Now what?
Talking about Face Masks
Discussions between people of different political parties can be difficult at the best of times, but talking about sensitive subjects like personal action during this pandemic is especially nerve-wracking. If you live with someone who chooses not to wear a mask, either for personal or political reasons, below are some ways to try and talk about it.
Reference the Facts and Experts
A tried and true method is to reference reliable sources of information about topics relating to face masks and COVID-19, such as the Center for Disease Control, National Institutes of Health, World Health Organization, and your state health department. You can also reference non-partisan or impartial news sources like POLITICO and Reuters.
Keep the Conversation Focused
Many conversations inevitably become derailed, either accidentally or purposefully. Personal attacks, willfully misunderstanding someone’s stance, strict either-or and hypothetical scenarios, and broad generalizations are all different types of fallacies that distract from the main topic. Point out how these issues are irrelevant to current conversation and move on.
Bring it Down to a Personal Level
Talk about your personal feelings about face masks and why they’re necessary, or how the other person’s actions or words have made you feel. If you or someone else in either person’s inner circle are immunocompromised or have a medical condition, this can be especially important as the other person’s actions may increase everyone’s chances of contracting COVID-19.
Find Something to Agree On
Common ground can be the difference between having a meaningful conversation and not having one at all. Search for something you both agree on related to COVID-19 or face masks. For example, you can agree that COVID-19 is real, but disagree about how widespread or dangerous it is. In this case, you’ve found common ground off which to build your conversation.
When All Else Fails, Try to Negotiate
Unfortunately, there’s no magic talking script that will guarantee success. So if the other person staunchly refuses to wear a mask, try negotiating. Maybe they’ll agree to wear a mask when in public with you, when around certain vulnerable populations, allow you to take over public outings like grocery runs, or even find different temporary housing.
Verbal De-escalation Tactics
When discussing sensitive topics, it helps to remain calm. If your conversation starts to turn into a confrontation, try these tactics to diffuse tensions and keep everyone civil.
- Pay Attention to Body Language – Look at your and the other person’s body language for emotional cues. Are your arms crossed or your fists balled? Are you in the other person’s space? Relax your posture and make sure everyone’s ‘personal bubble’ is intact.
- Use Your ‘Inside Voice’ – Just like you should monitor your body language, make sure you’re not being verbally aggressive. When speaking, try to remain calm and talk at a reasonable level. Avoid yelling, sarcasm, and judgmental tones of voice.
- Avoid Negative Language – Negative phrases that attack people, beliefs, or informational sources are unhelpful. Disagreements should be constructive and further the conversation. Think about what you want to say and rephrase any loaded or insulting language.
- Practice Active Listening – Agree that everyone should be able to talk without interruption. Be attentive when the other person is speaking and respond to what they say, instead of simply waiting for their ‘turn’ to be over so you can talk.
- Clarify and Be Clear – Misunderstandings can quickly derail conversations. Use restatement to ensure you understand what the other person means and try to be clear in return. Don’t be afraid to ask clarifying questions or admit you don’t understand.
How to End the Conversation
There are several ways the conversation might end. Obviously, the best outcome is for the other person to agree to wear a mask. But sometimes you just have to acknowledge that the conversation is no longer constructive and save further discussion for another day.
No matter how it ends, hopefully everyone involved remained civil. This sets a positive precedent for future conversations and allows for the possibility of more or continued success later on.
